I guess my first official blog as ‘The Modern Mummy 2.0’ (new and improved I believe) should start with why I am doing this. Someone once told me that through our darkest days in the depths of the despair we walk around with a piece of coal in our hand. At these moments, this piece of coal is a dead weight, a dirty piece of scrap we so badly want to discard but what we don’t tend to notice is that as we emerge from the darkness and the light begins to shine, this same piece of coal often becomes a piece of gold. What we do with that piece of gold is an entirely separate matter.
I have spent a solid two or three years being utterly confused about why life has walked me through such a dark period. Very perplexed as to how, after spending 10 years with someone, I came to land raising two babies on my own. Fast forward to more recently, I have done some intense soul searching and think I may have found my piece of gold now I am just attempting to navigate how I will use that piece of gold. It is still a work in progress!
So what do I offer you as my reader – well what I will touch on is the reality of divorce, a seven letter word, for me – hell on earth and at one time, what I saw as my biggest failure to date. I will be real about my experiences in the family court, real about my experiences in a Magistrates Court, real about my battles with anxiety and real about how I came to ‘find myself’ albeit definitely taking a few wrong turns along the way. Now for the purposes of honesty, I have moved onto a new relationship with a very supportive man. How much of my current relationship I will feature in my blog, I am not sure of yet as it is something very sacred between us BUT what I will share is the comedy behind blending two families. We share an Instagram page together where we show some of the elements of navigating life with three boys under five. Suffice to say there are weekends where the only survival tools are wine and coffee!!
So first up, getting down and dirty – I have anxiety, fibromyalgia, hemochromatosis and some odd auto-immune disease that won’t quite show itself as full diagnosis. How do I manage most of these things? EXERCISE! Fitness is a huge part of my lifestyle and one of the most important things I have thrown myself into navigating divorce and blending families and the stress this entails. So the other element to my page is sharing my fitness journey and ofcourse, the best part of life – FOOD!
If you would like to know a bit more about what my page will share, please have a quick read of ‘About the Modern Mummy’ – it identifies a little more of what I hope to achieve.
My next blog will share how I ‘found myself’ – I am hardly lost am I considering I have two little humans practically attached to me but I lost confidence, lost who I was as a person and woman, lost my pride and dignity and had no idea how I was going to recover. Like being a woman and mother isn’t hard enough most days, now I had to find all these other stupid things too!
So as I started to navigate the map to finding me, I had to learn to dance in the rain as my hardest storms passed overhead – a quote that not many people know, is now tattooed (much to my mother’s dismay) on my ribs as a daily reminder and tribute to my sons. I will leave you with that thought – if your hardest days approach, will you sit inside and hide away until the storm passes?