Just the same old me….

New year, new me…. big things coming…. 2019 is my year…..

I’m sorry but the rational and black and white person in me struggles with these new year sayings and concepts. It feels like everywhere I look around I have “BIG” things hitting me in my face in 2019.

But I guess this really depends on what way we view these ‘big’ things or the ‘new me’. Not many people know but I have been accepted to study law. It’s a massive achievement for me and one that I don’t take lightly but here’s the thing – like any true road to the altar – I have cold feet. I am unsure. I will major and focus on family’s law but after the last three years of my life being pulled into this system I remain unsure. I ask whether I am capable? Do I want the pressure? Do I NEED the pressure? Do I want to pursue a career in it? What if I fail? Blah blah blah so I guess BIG things are potentially coming my way in 2019 – take one path or the other…..

But I just don’t see it that way… in a world where I need to debate whether to fight with my four year old about picking up his dam undies off the floor do I really want to be making such big decisions!! NO I certainly do not!

So if you are like me and feel totally inundated with all these amazing things people are supposedly achieving and feeling quite underwhelmed, uninspired or feeling as though you lack – let me share a few reminders about how a year can go drastically wrong………

In 2018 I had a judge question the severity of an assault I experienced probably on the basis that this person had not experienced something so terrifying so could not relate. It made me feel totally helpless and re-victimized once again but it got better…. I then got sued and there was an attempt to be kicked out of my home – this all went down between March and May – winner winner chicken dinner 👌🏼 I was hospitalised again struggling with severe depression and anxiety.

By the end of 2018 I was back feeling stronger, mentally better than I have in years, scored myself a great role at work, finished post grad studies, I turned 30 and my mumma turned 60 so we turnt it up! I watched my boys hit so many great milestones and oh, had someone on bended knee telling me and showing me how much my boys and I and our family mean to him and what he wants for our future.

So there you go – life moves pretty bloody quickly and even if you don’t feel as though you have ‘big’ plans for 2019 I say that’s ok!

So for me – I don’t think I have big set plans for 2019 – I don’t think I am going to be the next Princess Diana any time soon……. Like other mothers around me I will just be plodding away at the same sorta stuff trying to navigate the ‘f*ck you fours’ and ‘threenager years’ – lucky me hey!

But I guess that’s the sweetness of it when we really think about it – life happens when we are busy making other plans. So as for whether I will fully commence my studies to become a lawyer remains to be determined just yet but don’t worry – I won’t be announcing my ‘big’ plans even if I do! 😉

I just want to be happy – and content. Those are the things I want to take steps forward every day to do. So if you are like me and tired of seeing all these ‘BIG surprise – I’m so excited to announce my plans…….’ announcements on social media – raise your wine glass, sit back in your pjs and revel in the glamour of your mum life! Cheers darling – happy 2019!

Much love,

MM

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