The wrong kind of drink

I have been meaning to write something properly about this incident for a little while as I think it’s still such an important topic.

Some years ago drink spiking was a super big topic and women were constantly warned about the dangers of this issue. It seems to me this doesn’t seem to be discussed as much now or maybe it’s diminished in frequency – I am not really sure. But at 30 years of age and going out with friends and family for years I fell prey to this issue.

I have been diligent for years with my drinks when out dancing and socialising – I never leave my drink, tend in to drink it quite quickly actually to avoid it being left out too long, don’t tend to take a drink to the middle of the dance floor and watch it like a hawk as I leave the bar to return to wherever my peeps are hanging.

Well we organised a great night out and were super pumped to let our hair down after a big few weeks. We had a few drinks at home and headed into the city. Went to one of the popular night spots and started having our usual drinks which for me is generally vodka and soda water. I was having a nice time with everyone when all of a sudden everything changed really quickly. I started to feel like I couldn’t really control myself properly physically and said to my friends and wayno that I need to head outside.

I was sitting at a table outside and randomly decided I was going to lay completely on the ground – now a couple of issues with this picture. If you know me, you will know that no matter how much I have drank over my younger years – I DO NOT, I repeat, do not EVER lay on the ground (I also never walk bare feet). It’s my little bit of ocd and tendency towards cleanliness that prevents this issue. But don’t get me wrong, I have had my few nights where I have been classy arsey and thrown up in the gutter. Well all do it in our younger years I think…. So there I was, laying on the ground and just started throwing up. We then decided we would move bars so luckily I was with a good bunch of people as by this stage my motor skills like walking and holding my legs up completely gone. I had to be helped all the way along. I could clearly remember knowing something was wrong but couldn’t control myself enough to get it together. I stood up against a concrete pylon and slid down it and again laid on my side. I could see the feet of police but I struggled to get up despite becoming petrified they would put me the sober tank for a few hours. I made it to a cab to come home but part way home I felt I needed to get out of the taxi and lay on the road. Yes the road – I was again so fortunate that three kind police came along and helped my girlfriend get me back in the car and home safely.

I was really sick when I got home and for many days after felt really physically unwell. It really bothered me afterwards – I initially felt really ashamed because I thought I had just drank too much. But as we pieced together timelines and texts and photos between my posse and I – I realized I had gone from standing and having a good time to totally physically debilitated all within the space of 20-30mins. I felt really vulnerable and scared that I had I had not have had good people around me it could have been so much worse. I felt violated in that someone had given me something against my will. I was in a tough headspace before this and this really was a catalyst in heading to a very dark place following as I felt stupid and ashamed.

The shame should never have been mine – I didn’t chose it, I didn’t want the situation and certainly would never ever do it to another.

My one regret is that I didn’t report it or go to the dr the next day as I felt silly and still wasn’t sure whether it was my own doing or something more. I should have though even just to raise awareness.

I have since heard that this same thing has happened to another girl drinking at the same bar who, like me, doesn’t drink crazy amounts. The question has now been bantered around whether this is someone behind the bar doing it given the similarities.

At a time where the States are passing laws now that prevent women having an abortion, even from rape – I think this is an important reminder to look after the women around you when out and about.

We should be able to enjoy ourselves free from falling victim to something so sinister and disgustingly weak but it places you in a horrible position if it does happen to you so please please please look out for the ladies – drink spiking is still a very real issue!!!!

I know this also happens to men and I imagine they would also feel similar feelings of vulnerability and shame. All of it sucks – no one has any right to attempt to control you or your body but I guess that’s what’s really scary in this world these days, and even though it’s very different, it’s easy to then stretch the bow to see why violence against women particularly is so prevalent when people can be so inhumane in their treatment of others.

I sincerely hope this does not happen to others but the realist in me knows that’s unlikely and if it has I hope you don’t feel shame or worse yet I’m so sorry if you were hurt because of it.

Much love,

MM

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